mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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