Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
