Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
