Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
