a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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