It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
