he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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