I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Don't make out with my wife yet
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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