how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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