just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
