We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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