was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
