My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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