I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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