You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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