He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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