So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Randomize
