summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Randomize
