dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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