i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
