you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
