Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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