turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Randomize
