But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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