I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
