I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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