My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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