Midget sex pt 2 tonight
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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