i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
