I just pynch a tree in the face
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
