I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
