I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
