he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
