You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
