you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize