go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
