Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
