I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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