You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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