i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
