Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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