seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
