found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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