I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
