Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
