so that wasnt chicken after all
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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