you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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