Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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