Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
