20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
