he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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