Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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